Get Out of My Way: Note To Self

I am a powerful woman. Sometimes that easy to forget. Sometimes I think I remember it but then I get caught up in some story about how I couldn’t possibly to as well as I want so I might as well not do it at all, but more realistically, it’s usually that it’s too much work. That I’m gonna look bad or nervous or whatever.

It’s bullshit. I know that when I really put my mind to something, I do an awesome job. When I really set my mind to something, I make it happen. It’s all about actually setting my mind to it. It’s about getting out of my own damned way.

Right now, dillydallying is not an option. My actions do not just affect me, they affect my partner, my baby, MY BABY. There is a human growing inside of me that requires me to step up to the plate. I can’t waste time beating myself up about how I basically posted this a month ago. I want to be a great example, and I want to be able to provide our baby with the tools they need to figure out what they want to do with their life. I want to give them all the colored pencils, and instruments, and playdough that their heart can take. I want them to have ideas, and then immediately be able to get something that will help them create it. I want the world to be their canvas, or notebook. I’m not saying they HAVE to be artistic. They can be whatever they want to be. I’m just super artistic, so that’s where my mind goes.

I started reading a book called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. In the first 10 pages, I cried. They gave me a walk-through of what it might be like when I get closer to having the baby, and then finally having the baby and hearing it cry for the first time. I was sobbing. It was such a beautiful thought and while I am excited, I can wait. I can deal with another couple hundred kicks on the inside of my womb before I meet this little baby.

I really want to post something, but on the off chance that my dad will actually read my whole blog, I’m not going to post it until tomorrow. (It’s a surprise for his birthday.)

Well, I’m gonna pee, read some of that super beautiful book, do some coding, make some DIY shrinkydinks, and possibly go flower shopping. 🙂

 

Have a great day!

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