Oftentimes, we forget to take care of ourselves. We forget how nourishing self-care is, or we make up that we don’t have enough time. Think about what a messed up thought that is, I don’t have time for myself. What I hear with that is, I’m unworthy of the time it takes to take care of myself. I am unworthy – the self-limiting belief at the root.
You are worthy. You are worthy of every second it takes you to take care of yourself. You are worthy of the good mental and physical health that will come of taking care of yourself. You are worthy of the compliments you will get when you glow because you feel good, because you showed yourself love. You are worthy of love.
No matter what stories you’ve made up about yourself, no matter if you have regrets, you are worthy of forgiveness, love, and happiness. You, by nature, are whole, perfect, and complete.
Our demons aren’t born, they’re learned. We go through life, and we see our parent’s (or guardian’s) demons, their bad habits and thought processes, and we think that’s normal. We start to copy their demons and they grow as we grow. That’s why when you’re brother gets mad you can see his father, you hear his father. The words come from the same demon. But that demon, that ineffective coping mechanism, is NOT THEM. Do not identify with your demons. If you can recognize when you’re starting to shift from your normal self, into anger, into hate, into that scared little girl who thinks everyone’s out to get her, if you can SEE that, you can start to be free.
It all starts with awareness. You can’t change what you don’t see. Some people get mad when they get ‘negative’ feedback from someone they love. If you understand that they love you, and that what they’re saying must be coming from love, then you can use this feedback as a tool to see your blind spots. Maybe you didn’t know you were coming off as inconsiderate. Maybe you truly didn’t see that you always end up in the same relationship with the same problems.
Be open to feedback, while also knowing that it is also just someone’s interpretation. So, if something doesn’t affect you, if you truly just hear it and think it must be about someone else, it really might be about their perspective and what they’ve got going on. If someone says something to you and it really upsets you, like you feel like your identity has been challenged, or like someone’s poking a part of your heart that hurts, before lashing out back at them, you might want to check with yourself to see why that had such power over you. Maybe it’s not about the actual thing they said, maybe it’s about wanting to be liked, or looking good. Whatever it is for you, just recognize it, and be able to recognize when someone is just looking out for you.
Well, this got into a bunch of transformational talk, but do yourself a favor. Do something nice to honor yourself. Earlier, I sugar scrubbed my whole body, leaving the skin fresh and new, and then I put raw shea butter and lavender on that fresh, new skin. I took the time to really make sure I got every part of my body.
The best part about self-love, is it allows me to be more freely loving in general. I’m not so hungry for affection if I fill myself up emotionally. I can allow my partner to love me however they choose to, and I will be able to see that, instead of only seeing the kind of love I want.
Speaking of that, I HIGHLY recommend reading The 5 Love Languages.