So, I’m gonna be one of those parents that sings to their kids, because I’m one of those people that sing no matter what. Sometimes, I make up songs about what I’m doing. Well, when I was in the shower, I made up a song for the baby, about how much we’re gonna love them and teach them things.
I got super emotional and excited.
Part of the song was about no matter if they’re a boy or a girl (and I totally get gender identities being different possibly, and they will grow up in an environment where they will feel comfortable and encouraged to express themselves in all of the ways they choose) we’re gonna love them so much. Pardon my giant interjection.
(That’s what he said!)
So, originally we were going to have a gender reveal party. Well, the 3rd is too soon to give everyone notice and the 10th is my dad’s birthday party. I’m out of town the next weekend, and I’m not waiting a month.
I’m thinking about, just us, opening the piece of paper in front of my grandparents and livestreaming it on facebook. I can invite people to watch, and then bam. Everyone knows, and if they don’t know yet, they’ll find out, and so will we. Travis just wants to know, and he was really just entertaining my idea of the party. He didn’t even know what a gender reveal was supposed to entail. So, I’m gonna sleep on it, to make sure I’m not just being impulsive, and tomorrow I’ll choose.
Everything I want to write is all over the place, so bear with me as I hash out my thoughts.
When I went to that baby expo the other day, I got some goodies. I wasn’t FULLY aware that one of those little things was a bag with 3 newborn diapers. (The momma diaper just couldn’t keep them.) Seriously though, I opened up that bag today, and I took out one of the little diapers. As I held it in my hand, it brought tears to my eyes.
Babies are so small and beautiful, and I’m growing one inside of me right now, and that is really the most amazing blessing I have ever been given. I haven’t been a religious person during my life, I’ve been spiritual, and I am fully aware of the presence of god. Not necessarily in the biblical sense, and I think that’s the same god. I just think the interpretations of what that god wants and does are perceived in all different ways, but there is one thing that generally is shared among the religions.
God is love.
I have experienced love in an all-encompassing sense, and every time I stop to smell the roses, and I really think about what’s happening…I cry. Yeah there’s a lot going on in the world that is less than joyful, but here I am, holding within me, and entire human life! Inside of me, might be the person who creates world peace, they might be the next Buddha. And that just brought me to a whole other point of view. I get to be their example. I need to stop making excuses for why I’m not doing what I say my dreams are, and I need to do it. I get to create my non-profit. I get to help people. I get to practice my ukulele every day, and I get to write more books. I want our child to look at us, and think, wow look what they created, I wanna do something great, too. And I want them to believe in themselves, so that means I get to believe in myself!
Thank you, god, for this opportunity and for this clarity and motivation.
Thank you for this baby and the life it will lead.
P.S. I drew our baby last night. Floating in the void of possibility. I didn’t realize that’s what it was floating in, not until now.