Commitment

I almost didn’t write tonight.

My eyes are red, and so is my skin. We went to the beach today, and even though I put on sunscreen, I’m not fully convinced that spray stuff works as well as the liquid. It’s also Florida and the sun cooks people. I want to get one of those really big hats with the floppy ends. I love the beach, but I’m totally paranoid about getting all splotchy. And, if I do, so what. I’m beautiful. AND I’d wear it like a superhero mask, because I’d be super mom.

We went to Clearwater beach, and got to experience a fancy hotel, at least for a little while. At this fancy hotel, there were coconut shrimp, which my nephew had some of. Thankfully he didn’t finish them, or I wouldn’t have known. I had been craving coconut shrimp HARDCORE for about a month and a half. He offered me one he had, and then Travis’ sister, that angel, told him to put the flag up so she can order more. She got me those and a virgin strawberry daiquiri. I was so excited and content. Two super delicious things that I wanted very badly, sitting by a pool at a nice hotel, surrounded by family. It was a treat.

Then we came home for a while because I was getting way too hot and sunkissed. We told them we’d meet up with them after we ate dinner. While we were home we got to share another meal with family, and it was perfect. I experienced a lot of family love and connection today.

When we went back out and met them at the pier, we walked around with Travis’ mom and our nephews. That pier is pretty wicked (if you can get over the parking fiasco). There were musicians, those robot guys, people doing flips over other people, fire eaters, sword jugglers, it’s like a mini carnival! There’s also a playground with coverings.

The whole time we were walking around, I was holding the youngest’s hand to keep him close by, and they just kept making me so happy and grateful that we’re going to have a baby. Children are PURE LOVE. They only do what they’re taught, and if they’re taught love and kindness, man those kids are the sweetest things. I guess on the flip side that can be my perception too. I got what I put out. I was happy to be there and that generated a positive experience. It’s a little of both, I think.

It’s now technically Sunday where I am, so I’m officially 16 weeks! Yay. 🙂 I am so unbelievably grateful. I’m also glad I’m super committed to writing every day, even if I don’t feel like it. I am so full of love and gratitude right now.

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